I said a few months ago I would making myself a doctors appointment this month for more fertility testing. Well, no appointment yet! I don't know what's wrong with me. It's very hard to hear bad news especially with fertility stuff...but you would think I would want to get the ball moving again. Joe and I really haven't talked about what our next step will be. Ultimately it comes down to me being scared. Scared that we will be under as much stress as last time. No matter what news we get or how much money we spend the worst part of fertility treatments is stress. Don't get me wrong hearing news that the procedure didn't work is also devastating, but way before that, I set myself up for failure because of the added pressure and stress I put on myself and Joe. I need some sort of plan...or a mind set even. I am not going to stress out about things that are not in my control! As much as I would like to think I can effect the outcome with my actions, I can't!
Why is something so natural and wonderful as conceiving a child so hard for some. Are we not meant to have children? I ask myself this all the time. So I guess as soon as I build up enough courage I will try again. I think I am going to need lots of support this time around.
1 comment:
(((hugs))) Don't you think for one second that you are not meant to have children. Your path to them is just taking a different direction than you expected, or hoped for even. I am here for you when you do begin the testing, etc again. Infertility can really can a person/couple to question a lot of things. Keep your eyes on the prize and take it one day at a time. You can e-mail or call me anytime (literally-- we're up late at night) you need support.
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